Are there any tall women in the house tonight?

This guy has cohones.  He's living life with gusto, throwing caution to the wind, dancing like no one is watching. He's doing all the things those cheese-dick canvases on my wall have been telling me to do for years.  And I've never done those things.  Until today.  Today, I'm divorcing life as I've known it. This makes 3 divorces in as many years.  But wait! Before you run away with mascara running down those blushed cheeks, asking yourself how a woman like me could ever write your vows, please hear me out.

Divorce #1- corporate/team divorce. This is so boring my dog farted and left the room when I told him, so I will spare you the details. 

Divorce #2- I left my husband of 10 years. You will hear a lot about him, although I can now thank him for his shortcomings (did I use my ex-husband and the words short and coming together in the same sentence aGAIN?!).  Don't worry it won't be the last time. Alas, he's given me a lifetime supply of material for your reading (dis)pleasure.

Divorce #3- Today, I'm divorcing my life. I'm following my heart.  I'm going to live like this guy.  At last, life experience has taught me to use my words to express what's in my heart. Please join me as we fumble together towards our destiny. Kick your feet up, smile, stay awhile. Let's create our own canvas and actually live it.

Xo,
k.